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July 29, 2005
A Love Poem
Wednesday's post about Christopher and what he eats for lunch reminded me of a great poem that Emily shared with me a while back. She was doing a reading at a wedding, and this was the poem the bride and groom asked her to present.
In my experience, most poems and songs used at big events (like weddings and funerals) get so passed around and overused that, even if they started out great, they end up steaming piles schlocky awfulness. Witness what has happened to Amazing Grace, a song that sends my hackles raising with the first strains (Incidently, let this be yet another method of me spreading the word: if the aforementioned song is played at my funeral, the person responsible will be harried, cursed, and generally haunted to a horrible end by my vengeful ghost. I'll bring in the Eumenides if I have to... I swear). But I digress.
This poem is simple and lovely and I think it really captures the essence of what really being in love can bring you; a sense of happiness about small things and appreciation for things you never would have noticed on your own.
Summons by Robert FrancisKeep me from going to sleep too soon
Or if I go to sleep too soon
Come wake me up. Come any hour
Of night. Come whistling up the road.
Stomp on the porch. Bang on the door.
Make me get out of bed and come
And let you in and light a light.
Tell me the northern lights are on
And make me look. Or tell me the clouds
Are doing something to the moon
They never did before, and show me.
See that I see. Talk to me till
I'm half as wide awake as you
And start to dress wondering why
I ever went to bed at all.
Tell me the walking is superb.
Not only tell me but persuade me.
You know I'm not too hard persuaded.
Posted by kyle at 3:47 PM | Comments (1)
July 28, 2005
Word Combination
One of my favorite things to do is combine two words into a new word that has elements of both and therefore replaces both. Yes, this is as dorky as it sounds.
This works best when the two words have some sound or letter patterns in common, but it's not stictly necessary. Say someone says "She said she's taking a 3 week vacation, but I bet it turns into her resignation." You then say, "Ah... you mean a 'resigvation.'"
Because my friends and I have been doing this for a while and not keeping track, I don't have a list of them. Enter: blog. I will continue to update this list as I combine words, remember ones that others have come up with, and ones we have already invented.
Feel free to pepper your conversation with these gems, as they will surely get you raises, the admiration of your peers, and laid (not necessarily in that order). If you come up with a good one, e-mail it to me for inclusion on the list. If you come up with a really really good one, be sure to add a verbal 'TM!' afterward to claim your rights* as the word's owner.
Resignation + Vacation = Resigvation
Baby + Barbeque = Baby-Que
Crazy + Asian = Crasian (can't take credit for this one really)
Crazy + Caucasian = Caucrasian
Classy + Trashy = Classhy
Reversable + Belt = Reversabelt
Drawer + Organizers = Drawerganizers
Ham + Mozzerella = Hamozzerella
Nachos + Fajitas = Nachajitas
Vagina + Tylenol = Vagylenol (thanks to PETE!)
Grandma + Emergency = Grandmergency
Brazil + Brisket = Brazisket
Designer + Vagina = Designagina
Monostat + Mustache = Monostache (thanks to Sarah!)
Christian + Karate = Kristiate
Beer + Liquor = Bliquor
Coffee + Refreshments = Coffreshments
Insane + Genius = Insanius (thanks to Kevin!)
Mercedes + Ambulance = Mercambulance
Quasi + Nauseated = Quasiated
Sheer + Miracle = Sheeracle
Schmear + Miracle = Shmearacle
Jewish + Japanese = Jewpanese
--
* Your rights as the word's owner include:
A. Mad props from your homies
2. and that's pretty much it.
Posted by kyle at 3:06 PM | Comments (6)
July 27, 2005
Love means never having to wonder if he's had a burrito again.
Yesterday was my dear C'pher's 34th birthday. The pic above is from our SF City Hall wedding last February. For those of you keeping score, yes I have a favorite person ever and that person is Christopher. Sorry, Mom!
One thing I love to hear about is what Christopher has for lunch every day. I can't say why, but knowing what he had for lunch makes me feel the very real presence of my love for him and his for me. Crazy, I know, but true.
How's this for a theory: If you're wondering, "I love them, but am I in love with them," think to yourself "What did they have for lunch?" If the answer is "I don't care," you might not be in love. Not enough to base a relationship guide on, I know, but hey.
Posted by kyle at 4:38 PM | Comments (1)
Into shape. Shape it up. Get it straight. Go forward. Move ahead. Try to detect it. It's not too late.
First let me say that I am a fan of the Jo-Tel blog, as well as their kissin' cousins (bastard children just doesn't seem like the right term), Professor Truth and Johnny D. These guys are funny. And regardless of the fact that I have yet to show at one of their parties, they continue to invite me. That is cool.
Further, let me point out yet again that they inspired my ever-popular, often imitated, never duplicated, soon to be syndicated feature, Found Porn. Hip E. has now taken to sending me links to photos, and actually reading MY far less interesting blog. Again with coolness.
So it stands to reason that, because these guys are so cool, inevitably I read something they've written and think "WTF" and feel super super old. Case in point: Hip E's 7/14/05 post "Real World Has Awesome Graphics."
I was reading this thing when I came to the following passage:
So then we tried to swim all the way up the Pacific Coast. Did I mention we had been smoking and doing whip-its all day? Oh yeah, we had.
The first time I breezed past it, thinking I would figure out WTF "whip-its" were in good time. But I didn't. I had occasion to breeze over that way again today and it struck me that I still didn't know WTF he was talking about. Picture me in your mind feeling super super old, and you'll get a good idea of my demeanor right at that moment.
Then I remembered it's 2005. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Urban Dictionary. See: Whip-Its, (noun).
The Internet: Where everyone old is fly again.
Posted by kyle at 3:29 PM | Comments (1)
July 20, 2005
A sad day for geekdom
When I was a wee laddie and first started becoming seriously obsessed with comic books, I remember distinctly the time in which I started to notice the names of the people who were making these books: Dick Dillin, Neal Adams, John Romita, Jr., Bill Sienkiewicz (yes I had to look up the spelling... again), Alan Davis, George Perez, Art Adams, John Byrne, Marv Wolfman, Joe Kubert and so many others.
Among these names was Jim Aparo, a long time artist with DC who had a VERY distinctive style, love it or leave it. I was one of the former, and even forgave him for The Nuclear Family and the Force of July in The Outsiders, though I still think Looker's 'costume' in that same book should have seen him face charges of some kind.
The angular look of his characters' bodies, especially their eyes and headgear (see Batman's cowl) was just very appealing to me, especially since I could easily identify his work at a young age.
I just learned that Aparo died today at age 72. That's one less comics legend, people! Get your lock of Stan Lee's hair while you can... I think he's still auctioning them off on eBay. Kidding. But not really.
Another death that took me by surprise today was that of James Doohan, aka "Scotty" from the original Star Trek series (or, for those non-Trekkers who read my blog, TOS). Talk about a double whammy! Naturally, the TOS cast likely had no clue what a phenomenon the show would become, but played along like troopers, Doohan included.
I'll never forget seeing him in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, picking up the computer mouse and using it like a microphone. "ComPUterrr...!" Plus, in that same movie, he uttered a line that C'pher and I used to say to each other when we first started dating: "Cap'n... there be WHALES here!" Who knows why, but we thought it was funny, and said it heaps. Probably because C is such a Scotophile (that's definitely not as dirty as it sounds).
Perhaps my favorite Scotty moment in Trek was the ep of TNG (The Next Generation) he was on, Relics. Scotty is discovered alive after 75 years in a transporter loop he put himself in after a ship he was on crashed onto the surface of a Dyson Sphere.
After he uses his not-inconsiderable engineering knowledge to help rescue the Enterprise-D from the same fate the old ship he was on, they give him a shuttle and let him free to explore the universe at his leisure. He got to literally ride off into the sunset.
It's a sad day to be a geek. I'm definitley busting out my TNG Season 6 box set tonight. I'll have to save digging out those old issues of The Brave and The Bold for another time, though... they're all the way in the back of the closet.
Posted by kyle at 4:03 PM | Comments (1)
July 13, 2005
Found Porn: Jome Again
The boys who first inspired the now infamous Found Porn series on these pages have co-opted the title for their own nefarious purposes. Did I say nefaroius? I meant hilarious.
To see Hip-E's post using this picture, search for the 7/13/05 post with the by now familiar name.
If rivets from the Golden Gate Bridge (since that's what that is up there) can get a straight boy "all horny," then maybe this country isn't so bad after all.
The Jo-Tel: Better than Sufjan Stevens and they know it.
Posted by kyle at 1:31 PM
July 12, 2005
Found Porn Smackdown
From the Day In Pictures:
You shall pay dearly for giving me a wedgie: Pretty much anything goes during the wrestling competition of the Nadam Festival in Ulaan Baatar, Mongolia -- including a well-placed knee kick. The festival is sort of a Mongol nomad olympics that dates back to the days of Genghis Khan. Love the boots, fellas.
Y'know... I seem to remember a party at James and John's a few years back where they were screening a video of something similar. It involved Turkish men and oil. I guess these Mongols aren't into the slick stuff. They're strictly thong-on-thong.
PS: Catch the catty "Fashion Police" comment at the end of the caption. Mee-yow! Actually, I think this proves the captioner was a straight man. No gay man who saw that crotch-lock would focus on the boots. Plus, no Tea Dance reference, so....
Posted by kyle at 3:14 PM
Le Weekend
Have I mentioned how awesome my weekend was?
Friday night, Christopher and I went to a movie with my oldest pal John. We had Cottage Pie and pints at The Pig and Whistle in the fog-bound and blustery Inner Richmond, then crossed the street to the Bridge Theatre to see a fantastic new movie, Me and You and Everyone We Know. The movie itself was really wonderful, and unbeknownst to us, the writer, director and star Miranda July was there, and did a Q & A after the screening. "I turned to C'pher and said, "I love this city!" for what wouldn't be the last time that weekend.
Saturday afternoon I met some of my fellow gay comics fans at Metreon for the opening weekend screening of Fantastic Four. It wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible either. At least it wasn't as bad as Daredevil! And there was plenty of eye candy... not the least of which was an almost embarrassing amount of beefcake, courtesy Chris Evans, who was playing Johnny Storm, aka The Human Torch.
At one point, he bursts into flame while snowboarding, lands in a huge snowdrift which instantly melts into an ad hoc bubbling mountainside hot tub. His clothes having burned off, he is naked and wet in the water. He spends the next SEVERAL scenes running around wearing his female skiing partner's teeny weenie ski jacket wrapped around his waist. The plot may have been thin, but that movie earned my $10 with the Chris Evans scenes alone.
::sigh:: Now... where was I? Oh yes...
After the movie, I had an hour or so to kill, so I picked up a comic to read at the shop in Metreon, and headed to the top floor of the nearby Virgin Megastore and Citizen Cupcake, a very nice new offshoot of the Hayes Valley Citizen Cake. I ordered a few of my favorite cookies, a cup of coffee, and settled in for a visit to Kurt Busiek's Astro City. I stared a little at the passing throng of Market Street shoppers below and all was right with the world. Great city!
Before long it was time to collect Mary and get to the car where C'pher was waiting to whisk us to the Indigo Girls concert. Though I could go on about that more, I won't. You're welcome.
Sunday we slept late, and then I spent a bustling four hours at work. I left at 7, and Muni'd up to the Castro to meet C'pher and Miss Kay, who is back working and staying in SF for a while before she has to leave us for Philadelphia again. I knew we were going to see a silent film at the Castro Theater, but I didn't realize it was going to be the finale of the 10th Anniversary San Francisco Silent Film Festival!
The place was packed, and the mood was quite jubilant. Many folks were in 20's and 30's costume. After some speechifying and screening of rare clips, we were treated to Clara Bow starring in "IT," the story of the 20's "it" girl that would define all quirky movie gals for years to come. This movie was fantastic! If you've never had a chance to see it live with organ accompaniment, at least rent it. It's pretty racy, and Clara Bow's character is a pre-pre-pre Women's Libber like you've never seen.
At one point during the movie, I scanned the crowd, and landed on Christopher beside me. "This city is so great!" he said.
Yep. He's right.
Posted by kyle at 12:21 PM | Comments (1)
July 11, 2005
Get out the Map
Saturday night I got to do something I almost never do.... see a concert by one of my favorite bands. I see the ads for the shows and think, "wouldn't that be fun?" Soon after, though, I usually talk myself out of it. It's too expensive, or too far to travel, or the crowd will be crazy, or it's my only night to do laundry or I just had painful gastrointestinal surgery or whatever.
This time, though, my pal Mary from work said "No one wants to go to see the Indigo Girls with me. Will you go?" Hm. Let's see. I'll have to think abou... YES.
So, Saturday evening saw me, Christopher and Mary in a City CarShare Scion XB cruising south on 101 to the Fox Theater in Redwood City, listening to an MP3 CD with something like 70 Indigo Girls tracks. We were munching on Citizen Cake chocolate sandwich cookies. The sun was shining; pizza, beer and amazing music were in our immediate future. Life was good.
And it only got better! Amy and Emily were in great voice, especially Emily. She must have perfect pitch; she laid it all out there, and I never heard a single off note. She's like an angel! They did a simple girls-and-guitars show, with no band. Their opening act, Girlyman, joined them in a few songs, and was the perfect accompaniment.
And speaking of Girlyman they were fantastic. They are a trio of Brooklynites including an Asian gal on guitar, a gay boy on bass and the most adorable baby dyke you’ve ever seen on a hand-played drum and the occasional other instrument. Not only were they super cute in the extreme, they also sounded great – sort of folksy and upbeat, and heavy on the close harmonies. Sound familiar? The audience loved them.
As I promised to Emily, here is a set list of everything Our Girls performed during their almost hour and a half on stage with no breaks. I lost C'pher's pen while taking notes at about song 6 or so, but Mary came through with a spare. As an added bonus, I've listed the albums each song came from, as well as weather each is an "Amy" song or an "Emily" song. If you have to ask what that means, you're not really an Indigo Girls fan... yet.
1. Devotion – Retrospective (Amy)
2. Fill It Up Again – All That We Let In (Emily)
3. Joking – Rites of Passage (Amy)
4. Power of Two – Swamp Ophelia (Emily)
5. Ozilene – Come On Now Social (Amy)
6. Wood Song – Swamp Ophelia (Emily)
7. Perfect World* – All That We Let In (Amy)
8. Andy – Come On Now Social (Emily)
9. Shame On You – Shaming of the Sun (Amy)
10. Least Complicated* – Swamp Ophelia (Emily)
11. Dairy Queen – All That We Let In (Amy)
12. Winthrop - Rarities (Emily solo)
13. Let It Ring – Prom (Amy solo)
14. Get Out The Map – Shaming of the Sun (Emily)
15. Let Me Go Easy – Rarities (Amy)
16. Closer to Fine* – Indigo Girls (Emily)
17. Kid Fears – Indigo Girls (Amy)
18. Virginia Woolf – Rites of Passage (Emily)
19. Chicken Man – Rites of Passage (Amy) + Bitterroot – Become You (Amy)
Encore #1 Galileo – Rites of Passage (Emily)
Encore #2 Finlandia* – Rarities (traditional)*
* with Girlyman
The album Rarities you’ll see mentioned above is a brand-new compilation of random wonderfulness that apparently haven’t been collected in one place; covers, live tracks and contributions they made to soundtracks and tribute albums. Of note are the fabulous and evocative “I Don’t Wanna Talk About It,” which I remember from the soundtrack from the great movie “Philadelphia,” and “Finlandia” an old hymn tune set for 5 voices… Emily, Amy and the three members of Girlyman. As you can see from the set list, they ended the show with that, and everyone knew right then and there that the music couldn’t get any better. It was the perfect finale.
They followed the album convention of starting with an Amy song, and during the show they faithfully traded back and forth between them Amy songs and Emily songs (unless you count #19 as two Amy songs, which I don't really. It's my list, so there). Final score: Amy - 10, Emily - 10, Audience – love.
Up on the watershed,
standing at the fork in the road,
you can stand there and agonize
‘til your agony’s your heaviest load.
You’ll never fly as the crow flies.
Get used to a country mile.
When you’re learning to face
the path at your pace,
every choice is worth your while.
That’s for you, Brenda! You were with me in spirit.
Posted by kyle at 12:16 PM | Comments (3)
July 10, 2005
Not your parents' Ninja
Leave the pans at the neighbor's the kids in the sink; my latest masterpiece for the Queer Eye on Comics coulmn for Prism Comics is going to be posted soon. For the sneakiest of previews, peep dis.
In other comics news, a brand new comics shop has opened up in Hayes Valley... practically on my way home from work. Isotope used to be located in the hinterland of SF's Outer Sunset, but now they've moved to what is quickly becoming one of the coolest neighborhoods in town. It's a great great store, and looks amazing. The staff there is incredible and really go out of their way for the customers. I highly reccommend a visit.
Because of this, I have already bought my first bunch of comics in almost a year, and have read some great stuff. Now readers of my blog might actually discover what my real taste in comics is. Hint: it's not Ninja #1.
Posted by kyle at 12:25 AM
July 8, 2005
Escape from Found Porn
Jack LaLanne and an unnamed dominant type act out an elaborate fantasy in 1955, with LaLanne swimming from Alcatraz to Blowbuddies... er, I mean Fisherman's Wharf.
I know, I know... this 'Found Porn' idea is taking over the whole blog. What can I do if people keep sending me grist for the mill?
Thanks to Rebecca! Now, off to do some pushups for her...
Posted by kyle at 3:30 PM | Comments (1)
July 1, 2005
Invasion of the Found Porn
Crazy hot, that is.
Special thanks to Sarah!
Posted by kyle at 3:07 PM